Because my family is bi-racial (my son married and had children with a Zimbabwean woman), people often approach me for an opinion after an incident like the one involving the Harvard professor who, after returning home from an overseas trip, found himself locked out of his home. A concerned neighbor, who did not recognize Professor Gates, called 911 when she saw him breaking open the door to his house. Shortly thereafter, the police arrived at the scene. An ensuing argument between Gates and the policeman resulted in the professor being arrested, and he attributed his arrest to racial profiling. Even President Obama weighed in on the incident by claiming in a televised press conference that, although he did not know the details of the incident, it was apparent that the arresting officer "acted stupidly."
Interestingly enough the Gates matter dovetailed with a discussion that I had with my granddaughter. During the conversation, Sekai informed me that a kindergarten classmate had attributed her unwillingness to play with Sekai to the fact that she "didn't like brown skin." It was Sekai's first negative brush with racial differences.
From the beginning, I have told my granddaughters that I prefer their brown skin to my frecklier white skin that spotlights every blotch and blemish. (Putting my skin next to theirs is all that is needed to verify the sincerity of my statement.) I have also expressed my opinion that their skin allows them to look good in every color, while my skin seems to limit me to wearing a few colors. (For example, I look positively ghastly in colors like gold, yellow, and other pastels.) My comments combined with the constant affirmations from other family members have resulted in both girls truly appreciating and being proud of the color of their skin. So, it is no wonder that Sekai was caught off guard by her classmate's comment.
While it was heartbreaking to witness Sekai's distress over the incident, it was a perfect opportunity for me to discuss the racial discrimination that Sekai is certain to experience at one time or another.
I explained, "Prejudging means judging an issue before finding out all about it. A person who prejudges is often said to be prejudiced. Because people's opinions affect the way they act, prejudice can lead to discrimination. Discrimination is treating another person unfairly because of a prejudice (a prejudged opinion)."
After a discussion of the different kinds of prejudice including, prejudices regarding sex, age, race, nationalities, religion, politics, social status, and economic status, I explained to Sekai, "When you discriminate against people, you can cause them to be left out of groups and activities. You can hinder them from fulfilling their potential. When you discriminate against people, you can deprive yourself of having relationships that could enhance and enrich your life. Prejudice and discrimination can be cruel and unfair and can be harmful to every person involved. This is why you must form each of your opinions (about people) very carefully."
"But what should I do if I'm not the one who is being prejudiced?" Sekai asked sincerely.
I looked directly into my granddaughter's eyes. "Sekai," I said, "you will never be able to control the thoughts and actions of others. But when a person's thoughts or actions are hurtful, you need to avoid being around the person."
Sekai nodded in agreement and I continued. "More important, you should never judge a person until you get to know him or her. Think of the incredible friend (the kindergarten girl) does not have because of her prejudice. Don't you think that she's really missing out?
Sekai thought for a moment, and then said with conviction, "She really is."
Living in a family environment in which there are no racial barriers or limitations causes me to grieve for the many people who hang on to prejudices that burden their lives and rob them of potential joy. And this is exactly what I felt when I heard about the incident involving professor Gates.
I am sad that the matter of racial profiling is still a hot topic of conversation, and I pray for the day when racial prejudice will be completely eradicated. Because, not until then will we truly be the enlightened society that we claim to be.
Joy Berry is an educator, human developmentalist, and the "Inventor of Living Skills Books for Kids." She has written over 240 books that teach children about taking responsibility for themselves and their actions. Her books have sold over 85 million copies and helped millions of parents and their children.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
ADHD Medication Vacation?
Summertime is just around the corner, and Lynn is wondering what to do about her son's ADHD meds. "He really needs them for school, and the medication has calmed him down a lot, but some people have told me they take their kids off medication in the summer. I'm not sure what to do!"
Lynn is right that some parents take their children off ADD meds in the summer, and, in fact, that used to be the standard recommendation. A break from medication was thought to be particularly helpful for children experiencing appetite suppression while taking stimulants. Parents and doctors alike hoped the summer medication holiday might allow for a growth spurt. Recently, though, some experts have begun to dispute this idea. And some ADHD experts are looking even more carefully at the importance of maintaining consistent medication use for promoting better long-term outcomes in individuals with ADHD.
So what's a parent to do? Following a friend's advice might not be the best option. For one thing, what works well for one child with ADD may not work well for another. Additionally, specific summer plans for your child and family may make a difference in what you decide. Knowing how your child's medication works is another factor. It's always a good idea to discuss your individual situation with the family doctor or psychiatrist who knows your child best.
Considering the following pros and cons can prepare you well for that discussion and for a decision you'll feel confident about in the end.
PROS OF A MEDICATION VACATION
1) Stimulant medications can be used "off" and "on" as needed with no adverse drug effects, so there is no danger per se in taking a break or using these medications on an "as needed" basis. Non-stimulants, like Strattera, work differently. To stop Strattera, it's important to check with your doctor as careful weaning may be necessary. To make sure your child is ready for school, restarting Strattera several weeks before school resumes is also essential.
2) Some health care providers suggest a periodic break from ADHD medications to see if they are still needed. The summer can certainly be an easier time for that since the demands of school are not in play, but remember: that doesn't mean medication won't be needed again when returning to the more structured classroom environment.
3) For children having troublesome side effects with their medication (reduced appetite is a common example), the summer can allow time for a "vacation" from those concerns. Some experts suggest, though, that as an alternative to a break, the summer should be used to try a different dose or a different medication to minimize side effects.
4) For children who are primarily inattentive, treating ADD symptoms with medication may not be needed in the summer when the demand to stay focused to succeed is so significantly less than during the school year.
CONS OF TAKING A SUMMER BREAK IN MEDS
1) When kids with ADHD go to day camp or overnight camp, medication may be useful. While on their meds, some kids with ADD will cooperate more readily with group activities, listen more carefully to counselors, get along more easily with peers, and be less likely to "get in trouble." Camp may be more fun for everyone that way!
2) Whenever kids with ADHD engage in potentially hazardous summer activities - swimming, boating, and archery, for example - having their regular ADHD meds on board improves safety by promoting better focus and limiting impulsivity.
3) Family plans are important to consider as well. If you will be taking a family vacation and expect your child with ADD to travel calmly for hours in the car, meds may be helpful. Similarly, if you are spending loosely structured days at home with your child, meds may make the experience more pleasant for you both. For some children, playing with neighborhood friends even goes better when ADD symptoms are controlled.
4) Some health care providers suggest that medication for ADHD should be considered like insulin for diabetes: it promotes wellbeing. For example, many children who take medications for ADD feel more clear-headed, interact more easily with others, have better follow-through, get more positive feedback, and experience greater feelings of success when taking medication. If this is true for your child, then, continuing medication over the summer will continue those benefits.
5) New research suggests that individuals with ADHD who are consistently medicated may have better long-term outcomes. If these findings are accurate, then continuing medication over the summer may confer not only short-term symptom management, but improved long-term benefits as well.
Although it looks like a lot to consider, knowing your child well, understanding how your child's medication works, and considering your family's summer plans will help you and your healthcare provider make an appropriate decision. And help your child and your family have the wonderful summer you look forward to!
Whatever you decide about the summer, experts suggest that you start your child back on ADHD medications a week or two before the school year resumes. That way, they have time to adjust and will be at their best when that school bell rings!
Lynn is right that some parents take their children off ADD meds in the summer, and, in fact, that used to be the standard recommendation. A break from medication was thought to be particularly helpful for children experiencing appetite suppression while taking stimulants. Parents and doctors alike hoped the summer medication holiday might allow for a growth spurt. Recently, though, some experts have begun to dispute this idea. And some ADHD experts are looking even more carefully at the importance of maintaining consistent medication use for promoting better long-term outcomes in individuals with ADHD.
So what's a parent to do? Following a friend's advice might not be the best option. For one thing, what works well for one child with ADD may not work well for another. Additionally, specific summer plans for your child and family may make a difference in what you decide. Knowing how your child's medication works is another factor. It's always a good idea to discuss your individual situation with the family doctor or psychiatrist who knows your child best.
Considering the following pros and cons can prepare you well for that discussion and for a decision you'll feel confident about in the end.
PROS OF A MEDICATION VACATION
1) Stimulant medications can be used "off" and "on" as needed with no adverse drug effects, so there is no danger per se in taking a break or using these medications on an "as needed" basis. Non-stimulants, like Strattera, work differently. To stop Strattera, it's important to check with your doctor as careful weaning may be necessary. To make sure your child is ready for school, restarting Strattera several weeks before school resumes is also essential.
2) Some health care providers suggest a periodic break from ADHD medications to see if they are still needed. The summer can certainly be an easier time for that since the demands of school are not in play, but remember: that doesn't mean medication won't be needed again when returning to the more structured classroom environment.
3) For children having troublesome side effects with their medication (reduced appetite is a common example), the summer can allow time for a "vacation" from those concerns. Some experts suggest, though, that as an alternative to a break, the summer should be used to try a different dose or a different medication to minimize side effects.
4) For children who are primarily inattentive, treating ADD symptoms with medication may not be needed in the summer when the demand to stay focused to succeed is so significantly less than during the school year.
CONS OF TAKING A SUMMER BREAK IN MEDS
1) When kids with ADHD go to day camp or overnight camp, medication may be useful. While on their meds, some kids with ADD will cooperate more readily with group activities, listen more carefully to counselors, get along more easily with peers, and be less likely to "get in trouble." Camp may be more fun for everyone that way!
2) Whenever kids with ADHD engage in potentially hazardous summer activities - swimming, boating, and archery, for example - having their regular ADHD meds on board improves safety by promoting better focus and limiting impulsivity.
3) Family plans are important to consider as well. If you will be taking a family vacation and expect your child with ADD to travel calmly for hours in the car, meds may be helpful. Similarly, if you are spending loosely structured days at home with your child, meds may make the experience more pleasant for you both. For some children, playing with neighborhood friends even goes better when ADD symptoms are controlled.
4) Some health care providers suggest that medication for ADHD should be considered like insulin for diabetes: it promotes wellbeing. For example, many children who take medications for ADD feel more clear-headed, interact more easily with others, have better follow-through, get more positive feedback, and experience greater feelings of success when taking medication. If this is true for your child, then, continuing medication over the summer will continue those benefits.
5) New research suggests that individuals with ADHD who are consistently medicated may have better long-term outcomes. If these findings are accurate, then continuing medication over the summer may confer not only short-term symptom management, but improved long-term benefits as well.
Although it looks like a lot to consider, knowing your child well, understanding how your child's medication works, and considering your family's summer plans will help you and your healthcare provider make an appropriate decision. And help your child and your family have the wonderful summer you look forward to!
Whatever you decide about the summer, experts suggest that you start your child back on ADHD medications a week or two before the school year resumes. That way, they have time to adjust and will be at their best when that school bell rings!
Not Ashamed
Not Ashamed: When you hear that, what thoughts are provoked? Maybe sharing the gospel, not being afraid to speak up, etc. Whatever answer you come to, it should always point back to being bold in Christ.
A lot of times, we as Christians, are not as bold as we should be. We maybe say "No" to God when He tells us to witness to someone, or simply choose to go the other way from where God is working.
"God will provide other opportunities."
"I can always share the gospel with that person later."
But when is later? It may be never if you keep putting it off. Being bold is something that happens when we give God complete control, and that is definitely hard to do. It is something, however, that God calls us to do.
When we give God complete control of our lives, we can have the assurance He is moving in and through our lives. We are where He is. We are in the shadow of God's wings. We will make it through the storm, and see God working even through the darkest and thickest cloud in the storm. We are now children of God, and others will see it when we witness, what we do, what we choose not to do, and when we stand up for what we know is wrong, including government-related issues.
God is with us. We do not have to be ashamed of Him. In fact, He has called us to share His love with others, in the Bible. We really have nothing to fear since God is on our team. When trouble comes our way, we just need to pray about it. God hears our prayers, and He will most certainly answer them.
God wants to have a relationship with you. God is not a religion, He is a relationship. Christianity is NOT a religion. Christianity is a relationship, and that will never change. Our God is the God of second chances, the God who is always with us, and the God who, if He doesn't calm storms in our lives, will most certainly ride them with us. He has never left us. He never will leave us. He loves you. He loves you enough to give you eternal life through Him. If you give your life to Christ, He will turn it around and you will be able to feel His presence wherever you go.
A lot of times, we as Christians, are not as bold as we should be. We maybe say "No" to God when He tells us to witness to someone, or simply choose to go the other way from where God is working.
"God will provide other opportunities."
"I can always share the gospel with that person later."
But when is later? It may be never if you keep putting it off. Being bold is something that happens when we give God complete control, and that is definitely hard to do. It is something, however, that God calls us to do.
When we give God complete control of our lives, we can have the assurance He is moving in and through our lives. We are where He is. We are in the shadow of God's wings. We will make it through the storm, and see God working even through the darkest and thickest cloud in the storm. We are now children of God, and others will see it when we witness, what we do, what we choose not to do, and when we stand up for what we know is wrong, including government-related issues.
God is with us. We do not have to be ashamed of Him. In fact, He has called us to share His love with others, in the Bible. We really have nothing to fear since God is on our team. When trouble comes our way, we just need to pray about it. God hears our prayers, and He will most certainly answer them.
God wants to have a relationship with you. God is not a religion, He is a relationship. Christianity is NOT a religion. Christianity is a relationship, and that will never change. Our God is the God of second chances, the God who is always with us, and the God who, if He doesn't calm storms in our lives, will most certainly ride them with us. He has never left us. He never will leave us. He loves you. He loves you enough to give you eternal life through Him. If you give your life to Christ, He will turn it around and you will be able to feel His presence wherever you go.
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